Ever since I took that personality test, it's been lingering in the back of my mind. Was I really that stressed/passionate/cautious/impassioned/reckless/introspective/abrasive/self-contained/buttoned-down? The answer? YES. I am realizing more and more it really is me no matter how much I don't want it to be true. I constantly feel like I'm on edge and if I have to deal with one more thing, I. am. going. to. LOSE. IT!!!!!
I've had a lot of doctor's appointments lately, mostly because of my skin. It's still reallyreallyreally bad like you couldn't tell even from the horribly dim light above. My dermatologist told me my skin was bad because of stress. My P.A. and doctor told me my body was stressed out. I AM STRESSED OUT, YOU GUYS. Like I needed medical professionals to tell me that.. (I did.)
But I realized last week that that was what the Atonement was for...for me, at least. The Atonement isn't just about repenting and being forgiven of your sins. It's trusting in Jesus Christ completely to lighten your burden as well. He's already gone through whatever you're struggling with right now so why should we have to go through it and suffer needlessly? It made me appreciate the Atonement even more to know that Christ suffered for me knowing what I'd face and that knowledge alone is comforting to me.
I'm still working on the de-stress part because it's not easy for me to alleviate it quickly:
- I can't run for very long/far (bad knees and ankles).
- I do yoga at my gym but will not in our apartment right now - it smells like urine (that's another story - UGH!!!).
- I can't go to the Korean sauna because I'm too cheap ($25?? Really??).
So I let it bubble up and unleash it all on Chase at the most inopportune time for him. I'm the worst wife ever. But for some reason he loves me? So I'm the luckiest worst wife ever.
18 comments:
I'm sure Chase understands you.. I'm not saying it's okay that you unleash everything on him. But he's there to support you. Hope that you can find the courage to deal with everything and be less stressful :) x
Oh man, Elaine. Amen sistah'! I've been dealing with skin issues since my senior year of high school (and hi, I'm almost 27, booo!) so I'm right there with you. Finding time to relax can be difficult and I'm sure Chase understands and that is part of his role as your husband -- to support you and help you. I feel like the worst wife too though, when I unleash on Vince.
That's what I love about the Atonement though, it wasn't just for our sins... it was for all our grief + pains too. He's been there, He knows what we are going through and will help us if we ask. Hang in there beautiful friend!
. There is no way you are the worst wife. My oldest brother was married to #1 and then he married #2. You're not even in the US top million. You are a lucky wife and Chase is lucky too.
I remember Jesus is with me during intense times (like those "I-coulda-died" moments you teased me about once) and during moments of triumph--it's just natural to give praise at those times. But sometimes I lose sight of the fact that He's with me as I deal with everyday issues. Thank you for the reminder. I have a tendency to be my own worst enemy when it comes to stress, to feel like my choices and decisions have to be “perfect” or I’m letting my family down or letting my employer down or that I’m a failure. It’s a no-win situation because I can’t be perfect. All I can do is what I think is right and what I think is the best thing to do in any situation. I know that, but sometimes I forget to live it and I beat myself up. I hope you don’t forget and don’t allow your expectations of yourself to be crushing. You’re actually a great girl!!!
Awesome sentiment. As a high-strung person myself, the Atonement thought was really great. I just tried the Korean spa / sauna here in Dallas and it was a little bit of heaven on earth. I bet it would totally help you.
aw, friend I'm so sorry :( being stressed is no fun but run to God & He will let you be the person he wants to you be...no stress & all!
sad face. it sucks to be so stressed out...and we always seems to take it out on our husbands...poor suckers. all though it does feel good to actually go off on a real life idiot..ie: your building mate...when you're feeling better you should go and say sorry...you'll totally get bonus righteous points. :)
You read my mind.. Just don't know when she'll be home.
It's good you apologized, but she should have been apologetic right off the bat before you even had a chance to complete a senence to her. Hopefully next time she's looking for aplace to park she will remember the entire world does not revolve around her schedule, wants, or needs. We're all in this together.
Sorry to hear you're so stressed out :( I'm dealing with much of the same myself. You're so lucky to have a husband to go through all this with, though!
This post made me so sad. Stress is just the worst, and I totally know how bad it feels when you end up taking it out on the closest object to you...which is usually the person you love! I went through a really stressful time recently, and things really hit me when my bf asked me to please stop using him as a punching bag. (It made me think maybe I should get a real punching bag?? Does that alleviate stress?) So whenever I feel like I'm going to lose it, I remember that I'm not alone and that God will never make me endure more than I can handle, and then I feel better. It makes me feel so sad for people who don't have that comfort in their lives. Anyway...hang in there and continue to be your fabulous and hilarious self. Hugs!
I am. Thanks for the reminder :)
Thank you for your comment!!
Thank you!!!!
Man, I'm glad to hear someone else has similar skin problems.. I feel like I'm in high school except my skin was never this bad then or ever!! :(:(
Thank you :)
I should have tried to find out how many wives there are in the US before saying you're not in the top million worst wives--a million sounded like a big number, but it's really not. What I meant was you're a wonderful wife. Chase would tell you if I'm wrong. =)
I'm sorry you've been stressed! And I feel your pain on the skin issues. What kind of treatments does the derm have you on right now?
And I would've let in to that obnoxious neighbor as well! What a jerk. It's really nice that you did apologize for going off on her. You're a way better person than I am.
I hope things improve for you soon. This too shall pass.
Thanks, Lindsey!! Now you see why I was so excited for your and your new glowy perfect skin?!? :) Right now, I'm using Finacea. In the end, I know being more calm and less stressful will make my skin better.
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